Matchmaker, Matchmaker
by LuckyDuck932
Summary: When Tugger comes to believe that he would make a great matchmaker for the Jellicles, he sets up a date for Coricopat and Tantomile with another set of twins- Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer- convinced that they would be a perfect match. This is their awkward date. Written because the idea was too funny not to write.


**I`ve always wanted to write a Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer date night with Coricopat and Tantomile. I know somebody else wrote a similar idea- but I decided to take my own original twist on twin-double-date. . . Tugger as their matchmaker! The idea of him becoming their matchmaker came because I went to go see**_** Fiddler on the Roof**_** last Saturday. (It was awesome, and apparently the guy who played Lazar Wolf was in the OBC of **_**Cats**_**.) **

**I hope you enjoy!**

_Matchmaker, Matchmaker_

_Chapter One_

Tugger sauntered through the Jellicle junkyard with a bit more confidence than usual today. Of course, he was always inflated with it, but today it was more than his incredibly, tragically good looks. No, not only was he the most desirable tom in the entire Jellicle tribe, but he also had a special unforeseen talent he wanted to flaunt.

He had just discovered his talent today, when he was talking with Plato. He received some really good news. It seemed like Plato had taken the Tugger`s advice about taking Victoria as his queenfriend, saying that they would make a cute couple. After all, the two were always together and great friends and about the same age. Tugger knew they were the best of friends, so why didn`t Plato step it up a notch and ask her out? Plato, as he had told Tugger that morning had gone forth and asked Victoria to court him. Not only that, but she accepted wholeheartedly and was extremely happy to be with him. And it was all because Tugger had made a comment about how sweet the two would be together.

And that was why the Rum Tum Tugger was even more bloated with pride today than any other.

Of course, he might receive a little backlash for pairing the two up, mostly from Victoria`s family. Bustopher Jones was a little protective of his niece, trying to keep her away from making wrong decisions about toms too early. After all, his own sister, Victoria and Mistoffelees' mother, had an unplanned pregnancy when she was just barely out of kittenhood and eventually it had resulted into her untimely death. Tugger thought this was understandable, but he doubted neither Victoria nor Plato had been taught anything proper about the birds and the bees from their families and what they did know were probably lies made up by other Jellicle kittens who thought they knew something. If anything, Plato and Victoria being together would get as raunchy as snuggling together.

Misto wasn`t as over-bearing on his sister as his uncle was, but that didn`t mean he didn`t look out for her. She was his little (and only for that matter) sister. It was practically in the older brother`s oath to look out for younger siblings. Tugger knew that fact well; Munkustrap followed that oath to the 'T' with being over-protective. Made sense anyway- he _was_ the Jellicle Protector after all. But, Tugger knew that Misto would give nothing but his well wishes to his little sister and her new-found tomfriend.

Plato and Victoria weren`t just the only couple Tugger thought would work extremely well together. He thought Jemima and Pouncival would be an overdose of sweetness just perfect for each other. Electra and Tumblebrutus seemed compatible for each other. One would think he would resent losing his dear little fan-club of kittens to toms their age, but he didn`t feel too about at it. New kittens would come along and join it, they always did. And besides, just because they had a tom in their lives, the original members still could have a bit of that little school-girl crush on him, couldn`t they? The Rum Tum Tugger was too hard to resist.

Heaviside- now that he thought of it, he could probably match anyone in the junkyard with their perfect tom or queen! He could start up a little business- _Tugger`s Matchmaking_ that`s what he would call it- and help any Jellicle who was looking for a little romance out! And, he could already have satisfaction guarantee! If they needed proof of him magic with matchmaking, they could just look to Victoria and Plato.

But. . . Tugger wasn`t satisfied with just saying he had matched Victoria and Plato. They were too easy to match. Both of them were young and new to the whole dating-scene as they had just reached that age when they noticed toms (other than Tugger) in a new light. Both of them still lacked scars of heartbreak and perhaps the bitterness that came from those scars. Oh no, he needed to match someone . . . or two. . . Who were near impossible to match?

Ah yes, Coricopat and Tantomile, the physic twins. They were a solitary two, only seeking each other's companionship as opposed to other Jellicles. The only other tom they really spoke to in more than a polite, civil sort-of-way was Mistoffelees, who was the only other Jellicle in the tribe (excluding his banished brother, Macavity, who only returned to terrorize them) who possessed magical abilities. Although Mistoffelees did not share the same magic as Coricopat and Tantomile posed, they were all magical and there were only three of them in the entire tribe, so they all banded together to form their little, exclusive little magic-club.

Although they only wished for each other`s company, they had to have_ some_ desire-deep, deep, deep, _deep_- inside of them to want something more than little less than a friendship with someone of the opposite gender. It was only cat-instinct to want to be with someone. Perhaps they were having trouble expressing their feeling because of their lack of experience socially with other cats? Or, perhaps they were a little afraid that their magic abilities were a turn off to other cats? After all they _were_ physic and could read thoughts. Well, it was a bit of a turn-off. If Bomba could read thoughts, he`s certainly be afraid of her. Everlasting Cat, he`d is in so much trouble if she could. . .

But he digressed. This wasn`t about him and Bombalurina, this was about two very lonely twins who needed help with their love lives. And Tugger had the perfect two dates for them.

Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer, notorious duo, cat-burglars extraordinaire, and twins who both were single- just like Coricopat and Tantomile. They weren't socially deprived like the physics, but as far as Tugger`s knowledge was, they hadn`t been seeing anyone for quite some time. Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer were technically his cousins, the children of his aunt Jennyanydots. Why couldn`t he extend his paw out to his family and help them out with their own love-lives, and in turn, helping another set of twins with their own.

This was too perfect!

And this moment was perfect too. Currently, Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer were sunbathing out in one of the clearings of the junkyard, lounging lazily together while Rumpleteazer was playing with a piece of costume jewelry she had quite obviously stolen. Across the way were Coricopat and Tantomile, also sitting together but in the shade and facing each other. Apparently, they were having one of their "physic conversation" in which they "talked" to each other by reading each other`s thoughts. One of their many moments that weird-ed Tugger out, but no matter- they needed his help.

This was the right time to set the pair of twins up on a date.

So, Tugger sauntered over to his cousins and looked up at the set of calico twins as they sprawled themselves out in the sunshine.

"Afternoon, Tugger," Mungojerrie greeted the Maine Coon as he stretched himself out, caught in the middle of a yawn.

"Hi, Tugger. What`cha been up to?" Rumpleteazer asked him.

"Mungojerrie." Tugger dove directly into his plan. "Who's the last cat you`ve been on a date with? What was she like?"

"Er- well, I went out with this sweet street-cat a couple a weeks ago," Mungojerrie told him, although a little fazed about how Tugger had gone straight into a interrogation of his love life. "She was a real beaut, but she wasn`t the type a queen Mum would approve of, really. Stray, ya know? No tribe, no `uman, nothin'. She was a vagabond sorrta gal. Not really respectable, either. We `ad a thing for a few days, but not much else." After confessing, he narrowed his eyed the manned tom suspiciously. "Why`d ya ask that?"

"Just curious, like always," Tugger said with a smirk and then turned his attention to Rumpleteazer, the female half of the duo. "How about you, Rumpleteazer?"

"Oh." The queen was taken off guard by the question. "Okay, let`s see." She bit her lip, trying to remember who she had dated, and the details of it. "Oh! I remember now. It was another tom, off the streets like Jerrie`s gal, but it was about three months ago. 'e was a thief like me and Jerrie are. We saw each other a couple times, but then I introduced `im to Mum and she didn`t like `im very much. Oi that was a mistake. She thought `e was 'sleazy' or somethin' like that."

That seemed right. Jennyanydots wanted few things in her life and on the top of that list was seeing that her twins found themselves respectable mates who met up to her expectation and provided her with a couple of liters of grandkits.

"That`s a shame that your mum rejected them," Tugger said with a tongue-click of added sympathy, shaking his head in dismay. "Well, what kind of cats does she want you two to date?"

"Well, she wants somebody who`s smart and clean and. . . You know, not a criminal," Rumpleteazer explained, shrugging.

Coricopat and Tantomile were both very smart (perhaps a little too smart for Tugger) and certainly very clean if she meant hygienically and if she meant on not being kinky or sleazy, because neither of them fit those adjectives in the slightest. They weren`t criminals either. A perfect for match for what Jenny wanted for her children.

"What if I told you I have just the tom and queen for you two? Because, as it just happens, I do," Tugger told them.

"Wait- what?" Mungojerrie asked, looking down at his cousin skeptically. "You `ave dates for me and Teazer?"

"Sure do, and they`re perfect for you," Tugger said. "And they`re _highly available_."

"Well, who is it?" Rumpleteazer impatiently asked, trying to get the Maine Coon to stop teasing them with salesman-like sayings. The thief rolled over and stoop up to face Tugger. Her brother followed suit.

"You guys would be a perfect match with Coricopat and Tantomile," Tugger exclaimed, motioning with his hands to show off the pair of physic twins (who were still engrossed with their mind conversation) sitting on the other side of the clearing.

Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer looked to each other, as if to say, "Did he really just say that?" They looked back and forth between the other set of twins sitting with each other, the Maine Coon standing before them, and each-other.

"Really?" Mungojerrie asked with his one eye-brow arched in question. "You want me to go . . . on a date . . . with Tantomile? And you want my sister to go on a date with `er twin?"

"Yes, of course. It`s a perfect match," Tugger insisted, nodding.

"Tugger, `ave you actually spoken to them?" Rumpleteazer asked.

"Er-" the Rum Tum Tugger had to search his memory to find an instance where he had said more than a "hello" to either of them. It was difficult to recall even those little hellos, let alone a brief snippet of a memory conversation he and the physic twins had shared. At last, he had to confess, "Not really. But have you?"

"No," Rumpleteazer told him, shaking her head. "Not much at least."

"See, well you can take this as a splendid opportunity to do just that," Tugger offered, hoping it would help.

"But they`re a little-" Mungojerrie made vague motions with his paws "-different. I mean, look at `em!" He pointed to the pair of twins sitting over at the other side of the clearing, speaking without words. Tantomile laughed out loud at something her brother apparently thought, though nobody in the junkyard knew what it was because it remained unspoken.

"You never know about them. Maybe they could be the nicest cats you ever met," Tugger advised. Bast- he was making up stuff just to try to convince the calico twins to agree with him. He thought himself to be a very persuasive tom, but _Heaviside_ this was a challenge. "And at the very least you could get a nice friendship with them."

The twins still looked skeptic, unsure of what to say.

"But dates- ain`t they supposed to be romantical?" Rumpleteazer asked, crossing her arms.

Romantical was supposed to be his specialty with the newly incepted idea of _Tugger`s Matchmaking_, but if he could so make the stone-cold, solitary Tantomile and Coricopat melt into giving at least a bloom of a friendship with Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer, he would take that. He admitted he might have set his goals a little too lofty with aiming to match the physic twins romantically, but no doubt the other Jellicles of the tribe would take notice that he made them come out of their shell a little. Plus, he could always fall back on his satisfaction guarantee of Plato and Victoria- which just might help him work his case with the Notorious Duo.

"Just think of it like being with friends," Tugger offered. "A night out with friends. They`re incredibly lonely and they need some friends with them. Just take my word on it, Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer. You will not be unsatisfied with them. I`ve already matched one happy couple. The least I can do with you guys and Tantomile and Coricopat is getting a friendship with them. I can guarantee it."

"Guarantee, eh?" Mungojerrie raised an eyebrow and like his sister, folded his arms across his chest. "And who is this `appy couple you speak of?"

"Plato and Victoria, now tomfriend and queenfriend all because of me," Tugger said with an air of pride.

Mungojerrie looked to his sister and shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly, which Tugger took as the slightest waver of opinion. It was one step closer, right?

With such impeccable timing, who was to show up passing by but the magical, the marvelous Mr. Mistoffelees, who was looking for Tugger? Obviously, word had spread in the junkyard about his younger sister and her newly-found love interest as well as the fact that Tugger might have played a part in their romance.

"Ah, just the tom who can testify for me," Tugger motioned to his best friend with the showmanship of a seller.

Misto looked at his best friend, just as skeptical as Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer were, suddenly drawn into a conversation. "Uh, testify what?"

"About how lonely Coricopat and Tantomile are," Tugger prompted him. "They could use some friends or a date and they`re lonely. Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer are considering going on a double-date with them."

"What? Coricopat and Tantomile aren`t-" at that moment Tugger nudge his friend ever so gently, and the tuxedo got the message, and he did a turn-around with what he was going to say and put on a proper façade that Tugger wanted him to have. "Coricopat and Tantomile aren`t very social, but believe me, they`re a little lonely. They could use friends."

"Really?" Mungojerrie questioned. The skepticism was chipping away now that they had another tom- one closet to the tom and queen they would possibly going out with – testify with the physic twins' loneliness.

"Honestly," Misto promised, nodding.

Mungojerrie looked over to his sister and shrugged, casually saying, "Eh? What `arm could it do? It`s just one little date, right Teaze?"

"Right," she affirmed, just as nonchalant about the matter as her brother.

"We weren`t plannin' on burglin' anyone tonight and they _are _lonely," Mungojerrie said. He turned his attention back over to the Maine Coon and told him, "Alright, Tugger. We`ll go on a date with Tantomile and Coricopat."

"Wonderful." Tugger smiled puckishly, hardly believing that it had worked out. He admitted there were some times when he thought he was in a muddle trying to convince the Notorious Duo to go through with his plan. Now, all he had to do was plan the actual date for them. "So, I`ll just arrange the time and date for you guys. Bustopher Jones recommended the _Stage and Screen _and _Blimp`s._ Does tonight sound okay with you?"

"Alright with us," Mungojerrie said with one final shrug before he and Teazer scampered off into the junkyard.

When the business was done, and the Notorious Duo was out of ear-shot, Mistoffelees looked to Tugger and asked, "Okay, what was that about?"

"Bit of an interesting story, actually," the Maine Coon replied. "I want to start up a matchmaking service and I figured, if I matched up your sister and Plato, than I could match up anyone in the junkyard. I guess taking the challenge of Coricopat and Tantomile was a bit of a stretch, wasn`t it?"

"Yes, even for you, Tugger," Mistoffelees said. "But with Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer… this should be interesting."

"Well, thanks for going along with me, even if you had no idea what I was talking about."

"When you`ve been best friends with the Rum Tum Tugger for so long, you know what to do. But Tantomile and Coricopat weren`t who I wanted to talk with you about," Misto said and then out on a mock-frown and crossed his arms, shifting his weight onto one foot. "It seems like you`ve encouraged Plato to ask my little sister out."

"I`m guilty of that," Tugger said, throwing his paws up. "I just thought they would work well together. Just don`t let your dear old Uncle Bustopher skin me alive, okay?"

"Well, I don`t want to be the one to pop your ego or anything, but Plato and Victoria have been interested in each other for a long time. Plato wanted to ask her to become his queenfriend for a long time, but lack the courage to. You saying that they would make a cute couple only gave him the nudge to actually do it," Misto explained. "So, I think you`re safe from my uncle. I think he`s coming to terms about how she`s growing up and will become an adult next Jellicle Ball."

"So . . . ," Tugger began, his ears drooping in disappointment at the realization. "I'm not a matchmaker?"

"Not with my sister and Plato, no. Just the giver of courage to love-sick kits."

Tugger looked a little deflated at this. "So much for my attempt at helping other Jellicles with their love lives."

"You still got Coricopat and Tantomile to work with," Misto offered his friend. After giving a little wound to his friend`s ego (small, but not terribly much as there was plenty more of it where it came from), he tried give his friend patch it up a bit.

"Right." Tugger looked back at the pair of physic twins, still laughing over their silent, unspoken jokes that only they would understand. "That reminds me, I need to tell them that they have a date tonight with a notorious couple of cats."

**Oh Tugger, good luck dropping the bomb on Tantomile and Coricopat! I don` they`ll be particularly pleased about their date with `Jerrie and Teazer. **


End file.
